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aznyetti
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Name: Matt
Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 1/16/1987
Gender: Male
Interests: i sat in front of the computer for like an hour once figuring out what to put under the hobbies section of my xanga....
Expertise: not applicable
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
3/23/2003
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| the term red tape refers to political processes that must be gone through (logistical stuff) before a bill or a law can be presented. often times the bill or law must go through many different committees and go through many revisions before it can be presented. a bill or a law can easily be lost in the red tape process forever. many opponents to the bill or law easily use this process to do just that, kill it.
i'm not a poli sci major but i think that's what red tape refers to (back from APUSH). recently, i feel like many things in my life go through this red tape process through people or just my own thoughts. this red tape has cluttered many decisions or thoughts about everything. red tape clutters my mind when i think about ministry and especially when it comes to discernment. every message i've heard this year at AACF has been forced into a red tape process in my mind about the messages. does one part of the message that is disagreeable require that the message be lost in the red tape process? is the good attached to the bad? is it possible to just filter it through? does the gospel lose its effectiveness when put underneath this process? do we try to discern and filter so much from messages or movements that the heart of it is gone? do we reject things on a questionable technicality? is the enemy in charge of this process? or is it the Spirit giving you discernment?
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| homeless outreach on saturday was a pretty humbling experience. you think you know how to do EV, you think you know your theology, you think you have enough knowledge to do it but when you get there nothing comes out. i pray so hard for God to just really let me talk and minister to people i don't know very well (not just the homeless) but it's just really hard when i get into the situation just to start conversations and sustain them. i realize the biggest obstacle for ev for me is starting normal conversations like any socially normal person can do. in my prayers i always ask God for strength just like Moses but then i realize that talking to a big group for me is far easier than starting a normal conversation. it is just so humbling how i feel like i can be so unashamed of the powerful message of the gospel yet fear.....social conversing? it's like....wow. i'm very jealous of the people who can talk to people naturally. why am i so afraid? why am i so shy about it? how can i continue to worship God fully in my place in the congregation yet not be able to worship God when he stretches me? Lord continually stretch me and use me for Your unashamed glory and worship.
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| i always wondered what kind of time i would have without doing any ministry or church things, about how much more time i could study at nights or sunday morning or about my beloved time with myself in dota. i wonder about how much of those things i have not been able to do because of it.. then i remember how much Jesus sacrificed for us. about how he was the one who took all of burdens on himself with the ultimate price of his life. that we may live lives that will never live up to his sacrifice. then i wonder why i can't appreciate little encouragement or a comforting word. then my little sacrifice for ministry seems like nothing. the question i should ask isn't how much time i could have for the ministry but how i can sacrifice my time outside of ministry and church according to the idea of Soli Deo Gloria. .
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| i fear that my apartmentmates will eat all of the food i bought before i get any
i fear that i will fall down the steps of my apartment on the way down
i fear the strange look that one girl in my psych 60 section gave me as we left the room
i fear that mexican food is killing my body
i fear going up stairs because it makes me breathe hard
i fear gas prices will raise through the roof
i fear that not going to ochem lecture will get me a bad grade
i fear that i will never get hired
i fear that i don't have enough time during the week
i fear that i push away all those who dare to get close
i fear for what is to come and what must be done
i fear the hypocrisy of my life
i fear that i am weak
i fear that people will see me as a fake
i fear that i am inadequate to achieve my life goals
i fear that God's blessing is gone from me
i fear my thoughts when nobody is around
i fear that nobody will like me or enjoy being with me
i fear the judgment of my peers
i fear the pressure of God's calling
i fear being afraid and not knowing where to turn
i fear that God is near me....silently watching me
i fear that i am not encouraged by all that God has done for me
i fear being afraid.....
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| omg....today the kairos girl's football girls got all the coaches this signed picture frame thing by all of them and thank you cards. it made SO happy...like seriously, i was really giddy and happy. thanks so much girls! you girls are way too awesome!
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